Archive | November, 2010

20 Questions

30 Nov

I started playing a relatively good game with strangers on Omegle. Challenge strangers to games of 20 Questions, and have the occasionally scarily accurate 20Q website open in adjacent window. Ask them the questions that the website asks you, and input their answers. The website is infinitely better at guessing than a human could be.

Wow, a penguin seems to be the go-to animal for guessing games.

But, being Omegle, the innocent guessing game was bound to turn M-rated.

That happened.

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What boredom has forced me to do…

27 Nov

This is a conversation I had on Omegle with a complete stranger (which is the whole purpose of Omegle). My opening line is based on this brilliant idea some person had, that was then posted to here.

Downloading the chat log file wouldn’t work, so here it is in text form.

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Official messages from Omegle will not be sent with the label ‘Stranger:’. Strangers claiming to represent Omegle are lying.

You: You are in a room with exits north and south. There is a table with a piece of paper on it. What do you do?

Stranger: I so know this one

Stranger: I’m just going to enjoy the seat

You: You enjoy the seat

You: Time passes

Stranger: I read the paper

You: You start to read the paper. It is a blueprint for a strange machine

You: You enjoy reading the paper, but have not gained much.

Stranger: I look around the room. Does anything stick out to me?

You: The room is bare. There is a table with a piece of paper on it. Exits are north and south.

Stranger: I choose to take the exit to the north

You: You exit to the north.

You: You are in a garden surrounded by a high stone wall. There is a hole in one of the bricks. There is a shovel against one wall. There is a tall, straight tree in the middle of the garden.

You: Exits are south

Stranger: I look through the hole. What do I see?

You: You put your eye up to the hole to peer through the wall. You can see a clean, street, empty except for an elephant.

Stranger: I pick up the shovel and exit south

You: You are in a room with exits north and south. There is a table with a piece of paper on it. You have a shovel for some reason. What do you do?

Stranger: Exit south

You: You are in a kitchen. There is a fridge, a small cupboard, and a toaster. You have a shovel. Exits are north. What do you do?

Stranger: Look in the fridge

You: You look in the fridge, but find you do not possess the x-ray vision necessary to see through the fridge door. All you see is fridge door.

Stranger: I open the fridge door

You: You open the fridge door. There is peanut butter and bread.

Stranger: I take the peanut butter and bread

You: You now possess peanut butter, bread, and a shovel.

Stranger: I open the door to the small cupboard

You: You open the door to the small cupboard. There is a single, china plate.

Stranger: I take the china plate

You: You now possess a china plate, peanut butter, bread, and a shovel.

Stranger: Is the toaster plugged in?

You: The toaster is plugged into the wall and fully operational.

Stranger: Is the bread in slices?

You: The bread is a loaf.

Stranger: I use the shovel to cut the bread into slices

You: You awkwardly manipulate the shovel, and with your skilful slashes, you cut several slices of delicious bread from the loaf.

Stranger: I toast three slices of the bread

You: You toast three slices of bread. Amazingly, they don’t burn. Mmm, perfect.

Stranger: Exit north

You: You exit north.

You: You are in a room with exits north and south. There is a table with a piece of paper on it. What do you do?

Stranger: Exit north

You: You exit north.

You: You are in a garden surrounded by a high stone wall. There is a hole in one of the bricks. There is a tall, straight tree in the middle of the garden.

Stranger: I look around the garden. Does anything stick out to me?

You: A tree sticks out of the ground. You hear the elephant trumpet. Nothing sticks in or out of you personally.

Stranger: Is there anything hanging on the tree?

You: The tree has several leafy branches.

Stranger: I put peanut butter on the toasted slices of bread

You: You grab a handful of peanut butter and put it on a toasted slice of bread.

Stranger: I look through the hole in the wall

You: You look through the hole. There is a clean street, empty except for an elephant.

Stranger: I throw the peanut buttered toast over the wall

You: You throw the peanut buttered toast over the wall. It arcs gracefully and you hear it land gently on the other side. Heavy footsteps move toward the wall.

Stranger: I look through the hole

You: You look through the hole. The elephant is up close now, sniffing the peanut buttered toast with unbridled glee.

Stranger: I poke the shovel through the hole and stab at the elephant

You: You push the shovel up to the hole, but it is too wide to fit through. Damn.

Stranger: I attempt to put the shovel through the hole from the handle first

You: You turn the shovel around. Aha! The handle scrapes through. The elephant turns and looks at the handle, confused.

You: “Is there someone there?” the elephant asks.

You: You apparently can understand elephants.

Stranger: I respond by saying “Yes, someone is here. I’m looking for a way out past this wall.”

You: The elephant hears your cry for help.

You: The elephant reaches its trunk over the wall.

Stranger: I grab ahold of it and hold on tight

You: You grab the trunk and hold on for dear life. It is warm and comforting. The elephant pulls you over the wall and places you delicately on its back. You and your new elephant friend wander off down the street, towards the sunset, content in the knowledge that your friendship will endure the ages and you will grow old together.

You: End.

Stranger: Sweet

Stranger: How did I do?

You: Very well. Not many people know that elephants prefer their bread toasted.

.

You have disconnected.

Continue reading

Pretty Acoustic Song

27 Nov

This post is very title-driven.

Angry Post

22 Nov

…is angry.

Here are some things I would like to be angry about for a moment. Please feel free to also be angry, either at the things I am angry about, or at me for being angry about them.

X-Factor

There is something so utterly cringe worthy about Australian TV at the moment. I’m sorry, I’m not really the best judge, I guess. I don’t watch a lot of TV on the TV, if that makes sense. Mostly I find shows I like and go out of my way to obtain them and then I watch them all, rather than letting a box dictate when I should be sitting in front of it. Silly box.

So I don’t know much about Packed to the Rafters, which I hear is a show that is Australian and is on TV. I heard someone died on it, and I’ll get angry about that in a moment. Anyway, I don’t watch that, or Offspring or the shows about people who live at home and away and next door to each other, or anything with police or hospitals. Not out of snootiness, just out of disinterest, but I guess that in itself sounds pretentious.

X-Factor is one of those horrible things that happens to be on around about the time my family finishes dinner and sits down to watch some TV, so I’ve seen enough of it out of the corner of my eye to feel like I can cast harsh judgements upon it.

First thing; none of the ‘finalists’ can sing. No, really. I thought this was, at its core, a SINGING show. There is a difference between being able to hold a tune, or even having a decent voice, and being a good singer.  None of the contestants seem capable of sustaining an in-tune performance. I just don’t understand why they’re being deified by commercial TV for being the ‘best new performers’ when objectively, they cannot hit their notes.  This is hidden by backup dancers and floating orchestras. If we jam enough lights onto the stage, the producers say, no one will notice that we’re really just televising a sub-standard school musical.

Secondly, the judges. Sorry, who are you lot? Okay, Guy Sebastian won that series of Australian Idol that I actually watched, and in my opinion, is a good performer (not my kind of music, but credit where credit’s due). He makes it seem a little legit. Danni Minogue… Hmm, isn’t she just famous because she’s related to that other one? Oh, she has a music career? Of course, how silly of me. Kyle Sandy Lands, oh lord almighty. I KNOW he’s a troll, I KNOW he’s a C-list celebrity purely for his ability to rile people up, but if there was one person I could smack in the face, it would be him. There is something so so painful about the fact that he is representing the ‘consumer’ on this panel. The pain stems from the fact that it’s probably an accurate choice.

And there’s some Irish fellow. He seems friendly.

So really, I am angered by what it represents; the fact that the masses like below average renditions of iffy songs, featuring any poor artist who happens to be touring at the time and gets roped into the charade.

That Girl on That Show Dying

Characters die. Watch anything by Joss Whedon. Read the 7th Harry Potter book (which will be my next rant topic, don’t worry, it’s pro-Harry).

I don’t mind that the girl on Packed to the Rafters died. I think the best thing about soaps is that they can kill people off and get a massive emotional response from fans. I think that’s a wonderful example of art being so capable of manipulating feelings.

What angers me is the stupid psychologist they had on Today Tonight or similar talking about the REASON people get sad about a character like this Rafter girl dying. “When you’ve had that character in your life for so long, it hits you like a real death. Like a tragedy. You’re losing someone you knew and loved.” or some such line.

Okay, maybe there are one or two people out their who loved this character so much that the death hit them like it was their own mother in that car crash, or something. BUT I am almost certain that the ‘overwhelming sense of loss’ experienced by the nation was due to something else.

Empathy.

You see a young woman killed, her fiancée left devastated, her family in ruins. And you don’t cry because she is dead. You cry because that could happen to the person you love. It’s a legitimate way for someone to die. It makes people think about being in the shoes of the family left behind.

If you miss a character enough to be hit by real grief, go watch some reruns. Geez.

That said, I wept in Deathly Hallows…

People Who Give HP7 Bad Reviews

Everyone is entitled to their opinion, but these people are just incorrect. The movie did what it was supposed to. I’m speaking as a crazed fan of the books, and a hater of the early movies, (okay, not so much ‘hater’, Rupert Grint was in them all, so, can’t really complain, but I certainly didn’t rate them artistically). So the big blockbuster film everyone was expecting was really about three British teens wandering around the Scottish Highlands. Have a cry and read the books.

That was the feel of the 7th. The hopelessness and the wandering around not knowing quite what to do. Hiding. Camping. Feelings and mortality and all that. Sure, the film wasn’t perfect, but were we expecting to be? They can’t capture the experience of reading the books, never, but I think they came pretty close with this one. It was slow, but it was meant to be. It was brave of the screenwriters to draw this one out. It made it feel like a real film.

So give it bad reviews, by all means, but review it as a film in its own right. Don’t hold it up against the first movie and say ‘look it’s so different derp’. Remember that it is the 7th film in what is, ultimately a huge overarching story, spanning about 10 years of our time. It grows and changes and develops. And DON’T, I repeat DON’T be like the Canberra Times reviewer and liken the ‘cliffhanger’ at the end of HPDH Part1 to the ‘cliffhanger’ at the end of The Two Towers film. Oh. My. God.

Okay, I feel a bit better. Phew.

OVERLY RELEVANT SPOILERS:

I cried when Fred died. But that was because I loved him.

EDIT:

I just realised how little sense my Harry Potter rant made. I think that is because I was just bashing my keyboard through streaming tears as I thought about how unattainable Ron Weasley really is. My point was: I liked the movie. Of course people can disagree. Silly me. I make more sense when I’m mellow.

(There is a crazy ad for tampons on TV right now. Haha, TV.)

Suspicious

17 Nov

I think that iTunes may have finally gotten rights to sell Beatles music… Just a hunch…

They’re being subtle about it.

❤ Beatles

She showed us a mirror

16 Nov

One of my favourite songs of all, ever, in the history of the world. There’s something about it that makes me unreasonably happy, no matter what. The opening of the studio version on Illinois (which Sufjan invites you to come on and feel) is mind blowingly beautiful, and this below is a live rendition, featuring the gorgeous Shara Worden of My Brightest Diamond.

Also, they wear WINGS. I cannot wait ’til January, when I shall experience the wings live… Oh gosh, it’s all my dreams come true….

And now for a confusing blog stat update:

My head hurts.

Threes

16 Nov

Three Nicknames:

1. El

2. Rang

3. LP

Three Jobs I’ve Had:

1. Carer of children

2. Provider of bread

3. Alphabetiser of papers

Three Places I have Lived

1. Brisbane

2. Perth

3. Canberra

Three Favorite Drinks

1. Coffee

2. Tea

3. Creaming Soda

Three TV Shows That I Watch

1. How I Met Your Mother

2. Buffy

3. A Bit of Fry & Laurie

Three Places I have Been

1. The shops

2. The beach

3. The forest

Three of My Favorite Foods

1. Curry

2. Sushi

3. Expensive bread

Three Things I am Looking Forward To:

1. Time travel

2. Owning large speakers

3. Knowing lots of interesting facts

Three Things that are ALWAYS by my side

1. Cecil

2. Tasty Blood

3. Pip IV

Blue Notebook

12 Nov

Below are suggestions I wrote for myself in a blue notebook a few years ago. These were ideas for improving myself/changing things up. I’m amused by the list.

  • Drop Tae Kwon Do
  • Take guitar or drum lessons
  • Drop physics
  • Get hair cut short
  • Buy new clothes/get a tan
  • Find new circle of friends
  • Rearrange furniture in my room
  • Live by Feng Shui
  • Become Buddhist
  • Actually start a band
  • Alphabetise everything
  • Eat only low-carb foods
  • Pick up drama classes
  • Become gothic or emo
  • Go to bed early every night
  • Never go to bed
  • Sleep on the floor
  • Take a vow of silence
  • Get married
  • Drop out of school
  • Run away
  • Get a piercing
  • Become a monk
  • Move to India
  • Become a hippy
  • Buy a new bed spread
  • Knit a jumper
  • Carry a video camera everywhere
  • Take up Japanese
  • Join a choir
  • Become a contract killer
  • Pick up gardening
  • Get a pet turtle
  • Wear shorts
  • Become an extreme sports junkie
  • Find a hidden talent
  • Become a beauty pageant queen
  • Buy a cat
  • Get a job
  • Find a purpose
  • Find a porpoise
  • Babysit for $$
  • Have my fingerprints surgically removed
  • Grow my nails
  • Live on tea and rice
  • Throw away all my sentimental junk
  • Get arrested
  • Eat a whole lemon
  • Have liposuction
  • Write a novel
  • Release a platinum record
  • Read Great Expectations
  • Write a better list
  • Eat a whole fish
  • Collect butterflies
  • Move to New Zealand and buy a sheep farm
  • Memorise the Greek alphabet
  • Enter a pi reciting competition
  • Enter Theo in Flyball and become a manic participant
  • Start a blog
  • Start an anime business
  • Buy every colour Furby and care for them like newborn chidren
  • Get my own landline number
  • Go running every day
  • Become a party magician
  • Live in a coffee shop like on Friends
  • Wear only natural fibres
  • Live under our washing line
  • Teach myself ceramic sculpture
  • Buy more beads and make more jewellery
  • Raid a Lincraft store at night
  • Rob a bank or casino
  • Breed lorikeets
  • Grow spices
  • Make my own tiedye sheets
  • Drink nothing but coffee
  • Drink nothing but iced water
  • Laminate everything I own
  • Cure a disease
  • Start an ‘ideas’ list
  • Enter a poetry contest
  • Speak only in haiku
  • Turn my room into a laboratory and experiment on my siblings
  • Build a mammoth
  • Start my own restaurant

 

It’s kind of weird how many of those things I’ve done in the past 4 or so years.

If you want to add to the list, please feel free. I’m sure I’ll get to all of it eventually.

I found my old blog…

11 Nov

http://widelyregardedasabadmove.blogspot.com/

 

Zombie Quip:

“Smart zombie has brains.” – Alex

Should I Vlog?

9 Nov

Everyone vlogs now. It seems cool.

That said, if everyone is vlogging, then blogging is like VINYL.

Think about it.