I can’t remember if I’ve ever done a post about the following anecdote, but I have a tendency to tell the same stories over and over anyway, so people should just deal with it.
Once upon a time, I was looking after my neighbours’ plants while they were away. To water plants in their yard, I had to unlock a gate with keys they’d given me and I’d attached to my own house/car keys. The padlock in question was on the inside of the gate, which is a bit taller than me and completely solid. More like a door, really. So I would lean over it awkwardly and blindly stab at the padlock with the key until the latch clicked.
I was doing this one day, when the keys escaped my hand and fell onto the wrong side of the locked gate.
After a brief tantrum, the reality of my situation truly dawned on me and I realised that I really couldn’t retrieve my keys without scaling the gate.
I clawed at the gate for a bit, searching for footholds. There were none. Would other neighbours recognise me as the carer of the plants, or would they assume I was trying to break in to steal camellias? I couldn’t be sure. I gave up climbing the gate.
There must be another weak point along this fence line, I thought. I walked the perimeter looking for a new, perhaps more secluded spot to try climbing into the yard. I could stand on the barbecue, or maybe tip one of the wheelie bins over…
I decided to use an old trailer pushed against the fence as a step. The next challenge was trying to find a place on the other side of the fence I could alight without crushing geraniums. I made use of my excellent trigonometry skills to pick the perfect leaping-angle, and just as I was about to risk life and limb to retrieve my keys (and dignity) I noticed another gate.
Unlocked.
Turns out I was meant to use that one the whole time.
Unrelated: Emo toadstool musician.
